Debra Lynn Baker, a Manning resident and former columnist for The Manning Times, died on February 5th, 2024. In memory of our friend and colleague, we are running one of her columns.
Anyone who has a child knows the dilemma of childcare. It is, without a doubt, one of the most difficult decisions to make. It is also one of the most expensive necessities of a working parent. A working parent faces three major expenses with his or her paycheck: taxes, health insurance, and childcare.
Who keeps baby? There are some good childcare centers available. And there are still a few private citizens who open their homes and provide the needed safe haven for our youngsters. They have to pass rigorous standards from the state to be able to do so. They must open their homes to frequent quality control checks and forced limitations of how many children they can keep. And perhaps not as expensive as commercial centers, the cost can still chip off a good portion of your income.
Commercial childcare also carries limitations that simply do not fit the needs of the parent. One of the problems I hear the most about is the hours of service. Some parents hold jobs that do not guarantee their departure time holding to a designated time and some centers make no allowances for this. Those who do will likely charge extra fees by the minute.
What is a parent of a modest income to do? The struggle to balance the needed bill money with the safety of their children is taking its toll on the best involved. The economy forces us to need the extra income, and the circumstances force us to give it away as soon as we earn it.
Enter the unsung hero.
I’m talking about the nana’s, the mimi’s, and the favorite aunts. You know - the older generation, those who have faced these issues before. I’m talking about those who have raised their children and reached the break in life of finally having their own time to do their own thing.
They willingly step in because the need is real. They faced the same issues and they know the struggles of quality care and the safety of our children. They can give the peace of mind that while mom is working, the children are safe and happy. These are ladies that know the struggles of modest paying jobs, long hours, and the need for peace of mind.
Certainly not left out of this hero status are those moms who are fortunate enough to have a working person in their home and decide to do without the condiment of life, instead settling with the necessities and staying home themselves.
I will venture to say that this is one of the greatest sacrifices a parent can make.
Stay at home moms and dads - homemakers one and all - are a dying breed. These men and women often carry labels that are not only ill-fitting, but just plain-out cruel. They are subjected to being lazy, incapable of a working job, and oddly, uneducated.
They are told they are not doing the best for their children because money is limited by their decision to not work a public job.
Ahem, but they’re the first person called when someone else needs a babysitter. Ironically, they care condemned until needed.
In this crazy world, we still have people who abuse children, and worst case scenario, kill children, even their own. We are subjected daily to stories in the media of children being hurt, neglected, starved, kidnapped, abused, or dying the most horrific ways imaginable.
Meanwhile, there are still people who desperately want to have children and cannot, and people who spend a small fortune and long time legalities to try and adopt a child. And still many who have love in abundance to give to a child and struggle and often fail to get the opportunity to do so.
From one extreme to the other, it boggles the mind in such a sad way.
The unsung hero is that individual that gives a loving parent the peace of mind that, while they are away, their treasure in life is being cared for. That every precaution is being taken to ensure the well being and every effort is being made to ensure a child is happy, smiling, and above all, safe.
I am my own unsung hero. It was not easy, but I did the best I could do.
The sacrifices are many, and the toll it takes and the names you are called and the opinions of others do not make it easier. It is not for everyone and not everyone can do it. But it was my unplanned story and destiny and I am proud of it.
I’m tired, but proud. I don’t have riches or materialistic wealth, but I do have my children who made it to be adults, safe and happy. I was also an unplanned babysitter, frequently called when needed, and I did so with the utmost of care. As now, I am now an (ahem) “older” lady.
You would think I would consider retirement? No. I am now a Nana. And yes, my goal is to be the unsung hero whenever I am blessed to be needed.
Children are the future of a better world. What better tribute for a person than to be remembered as that haven of safety and happiness and smiles?
Children are a blessing. Be a blessing to them in return. Some call me Lynn, some call me Mom, and grateful and blessed I am to now be called Nana.
Until next time, be happy being you.
