One of my favorite things about having daughters is getting to watch the friendships they build.
My oldest daughter, Emily, and I have watched The Princess and the Frog more times than I can count. We both adore Charlotte La Bouff – Lottie to her friends. She’s loud, dramatic, spoiled and obsessed with fairy tales, but she’s also one of the best friends Disney ever wrote.
There’s a scene where Tiana falls face-first into a tray of beignets at a party. Powdered sugar everywhere. Embarrassment level: maximum. And Lottie doesn’t laugh or roll her eyes. She scoops Tiana up, takes her upstairs and helps her clean up and get dressed again.
It’s the kind of moment that sticks with you.
Lottie never competes with Tiana. She never tries to one-up her. Even when it means giving up her own dream of marrying Prince Naveen, she celebrates Tiana’s happiness like it’s her own.
If you look it up online, the internet agrees. Charlotte La Bouff is often praised as one of Disney’s best friends because she’s loyal, generous and completely free of jealousy. Despite their differences in race, class and circumstance, she cheers for Tiana’s dreams and supports her every step of the way.
In other words, she’s a girl’s girl.
And that’s the kind of woman – and the kind of daughter – I hope we’re raising.
Charlotte “Lottie” La Bouff helps her friend Tiana prepare for the ball in Disney’s The Princess and the Frog. The character is often celebrated for her loyalty and generosity — a true “girl’s girl.”
Disney
In a world that loves to pit women against each other, being a girl’s girl is a quiet act of rebellion. It means celebrating another woman’s promotion instead of wondering why it wasn’t yours. It means complimenting the dress instead of criticizing it later. It means sharing opportunities instead of guarding them.
It also means being honest.
At the office, our staff at The Manning Times is all women. And yes, we get on each other’s nerves sometimes. We’re human. There are moments when someone is a little too stressed, a little too blunt or just plain wrong.
But one thing I appreciate about our office is that we don’t let things fester. If there’s an issue, it eventually gets said – usually with a laugh and sometimes with a little eye-rolling – but it gets said. Then we move on.
That’s the thing about real female friendships. They aren’t perfect. They’re just honest.
My youngest daughter, Ellis, is getting her first taste of that kind of friendship now. She’s assembled quite the little girl gang at school – the kind that can stage a full playground disagreement, apologize five minutes later and get right back to playing before the teacher even has time to intervene.
Recently a boy made fun of her front teeth, which – like most kids her age – have grown a little faster than the rest of her head.
Before Ellis even had time to respond, her friends stepped in. They defended her. They shut it down. And later they all moved on to talking about LOL Dolls and whatever nine-year-olds are laughing about this week.
When Ellis talks about her friends, she doesn’t just brag about her own grades. She brags about theirs too. She cheers just as loudly for her friends as she does for her big sister, Emily – especially when it comes to their art. She celebrates their accomplishments the same way she celebrates her own.
That might be the part that makes me proudest.
Because that instinct – to cheer for each other instead of compete – is something girls often have naturally before the world teaches them otherwise.
The truth is, female friendships are more than just fun. They’re powerful.
Research shows women with strong social connections have a significantly higher chance of living longer and healthier lives. Isolation increases the risk of heart disease and stroke, while strong friendships help reduce stress and boost the hormone oxytocin, which helps calm the body’s fight-or-flight response.
Friendships can even affect careers. Studies suggest women with one to three close female friends in their inner circle are more likely to land positions with greater authority and higher pay.
But statistics aside, most women already know the real value of those friendships.
We know the relief of sitting at a kitchen table, porch swing or office desk and laughing about something only another woman would understand. We know the comfort of hearing, “I’ve been there too.” We know the strength that comes from having someone in your corner.
Women keep each other sane. Sometimes they keep each other afloat. And if we’re lucky, they keep each other laughing along the way.
So here’s to raising girls who clap when their friends succeed.
Girls who defend each other on the playground. Girls who grow into women who celebrate, support and sometimes gently correct each other. Girls who know that another woman’s shine doesn’t dim their own.
Girls who grow up to be girl’s girls.
