Lately, I’ve been thinking about when my oldest daughter, Emily, was little. She’s 19 now and just graduated from the county’s Adult Education program, so I’m feeling more than a little sentimental.
I was just shy of 22 when she was born, barely an adult and wildly unprepared for motherhood. The universe did me a solid, though, and saw fit to give me a fat, sleepy baby. In fact, that first year may have been our easiest because once Emily could walk, she never looked back and rarely backed down.
Between social media and my job, I’ve written a lot about that girl and her independent spirit. She was born both curious and determined. Emily never cried around unfamiliar people or in new places because she made every person and place her own. In fact, she was fondly called The Wrecking Ball by my coworkers at the time because that office was hers and so was everything in it. Nothing was off limits in her tiny world.
By the time Emily was in kindergarten, she was a full-blown negotiator. A five-year-old that purposely asked for seven cookies so she could wear me down to a couple fig newtons. She was a daddy’s girl, who loved fishing and lost her mind when she got her first 4-wheeler. Emily still had to look good while she played in the dirt, and I spent a lot of time getting grass stains out of princess dresses.
The elementary years and into middle school were wild. She’d yell out that she was going hiking in the woods surrounding our house but not to worry, she knew how to punch a bear in the snout if she encountered one. She wore garden snakes like bracelets and tied her little brother to trees. School got harder but she loved it and her friends. She loved to sing, played softball year-round, and became a big sister two more times.
Let me be clear, Emily didn’t sign up to be a big sister. She and Connor, my oldest son and three years younger than her, fought constantly. Findlay, however, stole her heart. Nine years younger but somehow her tiny best friend, they were inseparable from the jump. Ellis came along next and that’s when Em realized she was stuck with a full house and better make the most of it. She became a second mother, as eldest daughters tend to do, and a fierce protector. When Connor was diagnosed with Addison’s disease, she cared for him and always had his back when he needed help.
Emily was on track to be a certain person. An artist, a singer, a friend. She had dreams of college in California and solos in the school choir. She had a tight group of friends, and she was a leader on the softball field. That all ended when COVID hit before 9th grade. Then, we moved back to South Carolina from Maryland and her father and I divorced. Within three years, her world looked completely different. I was suffering from major depression, and she had to step up in a way that was pretty unfair for a teenage girl. She quietly struggled herself, trying to help me with her siblings while homeschool was barely happening and she was also drowning.
Then, this last August, after I sought help for my mental health and with her siblings back in school and thriving, Emily decided it was time to take care of herself again. She enrolled in the Adult Education program and started her classes. Within the first month, we knew she was going to fly through the program. She hadn’t been in a classroom since 2020 and within four months, she graduated with a GED with distinction. She scored so well on that insane test that she earned college credit. Emily also earned gold level career readiness certificates and was inducted into the National Adult Education Honor Society. To say I am proud would be a complete understatement.
What will she do now? What roles will she play as she continues to grow? Time will tell but it is a privilege to watch her thrive. She works part-time at the paper now, managing our website. She has plans to get her associate’s degree before moving on to a four-year college. But she will always be that chubby, sweet baby to me. That fearless girl and a wall surrounding her siblings. She is funny, kind, and charming. The kid is gorgeous, y’all, inside and out. Whatever path she chooses from here, the destination will be lucky to have her. Just as I was lucky enough to be her mama.
