One of my favorite quotes of all time is from professional boxer Ed Latimore: “Embarrassment is the cost of entry. If you aren’t willing to look like a foolish beginner, you’ll never become a graceful master.” As someone who prefers to stick to their comfort zone at all times, this quote really struck a chord with me. I am very guilty of being scared of getting embarrassed. The fear of embarrassment is valid and it’s pretty much innate to who we are as human beings.
How many times have you decided against finding a new job because you didn’t want to have to learn new skills, and potentially be bad at it in the beginning? How many times have you told yourself it’s silly to want to start piano lessons as an adult because it’ll be embarrassing when you first get started and you’re no better than the four-year-old in the class? The most common one I hear from my friends is that they want to start going to the gym, but they don’t know what they’re doing and they don’t want to look silly.
Well, there’s an obvious, major problem with this. We’re all missing out. We’re missing out on learning new skills, having fun experiences, meeting new people, and just growing as human beings. It’s good to be embarrassed and humbled sometimes. Nobody is perfect at something the first time, or first 100 times, or even first 10,000 times they do it, so why do we expect ourselves to be?
The reward of learning something really cool is so worth the initial embarrassment of not knowing what you’re doing. The first few guitar lessons might feel awkward and embarrassing, but then what if you get really good at it? Then you can be that guy who plays “Wonderwall” at parties. You may start a fitness journey only to realize you’re really out of shape and don’t know what you’re doing, but I think you will find that there are more people willing to help you than there are people judging you. Taking these risks, putting yourself out there, is how we make connections and form communities. And if you accept the help where it’s needed and continue to work hard, the embarrassment will melt away faster than you could ever imagine, and something new will bloom in its place: confidence. Confidence in yourself, not just regarding your new skill, but that you are capable of learning new things.
If you’re still on the fence about starting that martial arts class, I have a huge secret to share: nobody actually cares that much. All of my most embarrassing moments, the ones I relive in my head each night before I fall asleep, nobody remembers them. Nobody else is thinking about them. I’ve even asked my siblings if they remember some of the moments I find so embarrassing that they were there for. Spoiler alert, they do not. I don’t remember anyone else’s embarrassing moments, either. As I’m writing this, I cannot tell you a single embarrassing story about someone else.
Embarrassment is the cost of learning something new. The cost of not getting over the fear of embarrassment is much higher, though. It costs you so many experiences and so much personal growth. So we should stop being so afraid to try things.
