The recipe for domestic violence

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Hello again, citizens. It’s been a while, but I’m back with another article that I hope will inform you, giving you food for thought as it pertains to criminal domestic violence. I want to talk to you about two emotions in particular that I feel are catalysts and common elements to most domestic violence situations. The two culprits are well known, and we have all felt them from time to time. They are frustration and anger. Let’s look at the first emotion. Frustration is defined as a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems. In most cases, CDV is as simple as an individual (abuser) feeling frustrated, and then taking out his frustrations on another individual (spouse/partner). If the root of this individual’s frustration is not addressed, and he hasn’t learned to control his anger, a continued cycle of violence is a given, and our No. 1 rank for CDV will stay intact. The second emotion, anger, is defined as a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong. Now, here is the recipe for CDV: Take one individual, add in frustration, anger and a stressful situation; let that simmer for a while, then sprinkle on physical violence. You just made a CDV. It seems that South Carolina has an abundance of these ingredients, because for the last few years, we have been No. 1 in the nation for knowing how to make a CDV. I have seen firsthand here in our own county how frustration and anger have caused permanent life-changing results. I am writing you about these two very common emotions to implore you readers that if you know of anyone who is in a domestic violence situation, or if you are in one, please seek out help. Please don’t allow frustration and anger get the best of you or a loved one; there are effective ways to handle these emotions and prevent violence altogether. I will close by saying that we as a people and citizens of Clarendon County have to genuinely look out for one another and keep each other safe even when it may seem uncomfortable or none of our business. We must also have the courage to call and report and see the process through. CDV is an insidious crime that is killing our wives, mothers, sisters, aunts, daughters, and any other female loved one at a very alarming and steady rate. DISCLAIMER: Not all victims are female. But in these pieces, I refer to females because more female victims of CDV are being killed versus male victims. Clarendon County Sheriff’s Office CDV Inv. Danny Graham has received a federal grant that requires him to education the public – typically through classes or seminars – on the problem of criminal domestic violence. He has chosen to write periodic columns in The Manning Times to accomplish this goal. If you have questions for Inv. Danny Graham, you can reach him at (803) 435-8977; dgraham@ccsheriffoffice.com; or 217 Commerce St., Manning, SC 29102.