Mt. Hope Scrolls

Thanksgiving: Impossible Weight Gain


It’s that time of year. Remember to set your bathroom scales back 15 pounds for Thanksgiving Week. I gained 12 pounds in a weekend. You might even have said something like that. Well, I just got some sad news from my trivial pursuit friend.

I have a friend who I consider the smartest guy around. He knows more stuff than anyone I know. He reads all the time. He knows facts about almost any subject. He has been reading daily since he was a small child. He was a voracious reader. His mother was the school librarian. That was an odd thing. His mother never seemed to read anything. If you asked her a question she didn’t have an answer. Don’t know if she was just tired of answering questions or she really was that dumb. She was around books all the time but didn’t know anything. Her son read every day. He knew everything. If you were going to play trivial pursuits he would be the guy you want on your team.

That’s the problem coming up this week. My trivial pursuit guy tells me that you’re not going to gain a lot of weight this week. He’s been studying up on weight gain. Oh, Oh. The other guys in my brain trust have been talking about how much weight they will gain this coming week. Then trouble started. The thought of gaining all this weight during one week was not true.

If you gained a lot of weight you didn’t do it in a week. That weight gain was probably over the last year. The rest of the brain trust was shocked. Mr. Trivial pursuit had all sorts of facts and figures to back up his claims. Now we had to figure the weight of a gallon of water. There was an argument on about how much the water weighed and then we had a contest to see who could drink enough water to gain 15 pounds in a day.

Some of the brain trust wanted to switch to counting calories but Mr. Trivial Pursuit had already converted the calories for turkey and dressing. 

After all the lively conversation about weight gain and diets and the Thanksgiving feast, we adjourned. It was decided that we would eat as we wanted for Thanksgiving. The first Saturday in December we are going to weigh and then see who can lose the most weight before Christmas. 

Everyone has a different idea about what kind of diet will work the best. I’m betting on Mr. Trivial Pursuit to come up with the best diet. He has been researching all sorts of diets. One guy says he might just be the winner of this diet. He lost 160 pounds of fat in one month. Everybody thought they would put a side bet on him. Then we found out he had just divorced his second wife.

I’m not sure if we should have a weigh-in until January 1. Diets are much better started at the first of the year. It doesn’t take as long to stop them either if they are tied to a New Years’ resolution. In the meantime, I’m just going to eat a cookie. I’ve got over a week before we even think about weighing.


No comments on this story | Please log in to comment by clicking here
Please log in or register to add your comment