On to Washington with tongue in cheek

by | January 22, 2019 4:00 pm

Last Updated: January 21, 2019 at 9:37 am

Two guys were riding in a car when a Highway Patrolman stopped them. The Patrolman walked to the driver’s window and asked for the man’s driver’s license. The man handed the Patrolman his wallet. The Patrolman hit the man with a nightstick.

“I said I wanted to see your license, not your wallet.” The Patrolman got the license and wrote the driver a ticket. The Patrolman then walked around to the passenger side and hit the passenger with the nightstick.

“What did you hit me for?” exclaimed the rider.

“I was just fulfilling your wish. You would have gotten down the road and then you would have said, ‘I wish he had hit me with that night stick!’”

A new congress has started in Washington. All the new politicians have arrived with high hopes and wishes. The fun is about to start. Excitement city, we have arrived! Now the harsh reality of the nightstick has struck them in the face.

What happened? We should have had an impeached president, a balanced budget, a strong military, free college for everyone and free health care. What is going on? Reality has a way of hurting. Economic reality is a cold harsh teacher. The quick easy solution somehow gets side tracked.

How about free college? That should be easy. Professors should teach for free. The janitors should clean the building for free. Students could do the cooking in the cafeteria, and the football coach’s salary could be used to buy the food and books. Problem solved. Wait a minute; I think they were talking about raising the football coach’s salary. What is going on?

All the new politicians are learning things they should have learned in civics class. (That was in free high school, too.) For these things to be done require bills, committee meetings, readings, proposed legislation, tabled bills, other delaying tactics and a fight with lobbyists and the senior legislators. Now comes the cold harsh reality of our good idea not even being considered.

Your good idea of having the military move somewhere else is a good idea until you realize that the chairman of that committee has a tank manufacturing company in his home district. He would like that company to keep producing tanks for use by the military. That way his constituents have jobs.

Those guys from the farm belt still want to have a subsidy for their dairy farmers. Your good idea about building a new road is hit with the stark reality that the appropriations committee is not going to give any money for a project in your district. That seniority business is a reality, too.

How about all that talk on television with reporters saying your idea is revolutionary? There are a lot of ideas. Even if money is available, the road is not going to be paved this week.

I’m trying to get a doctor’s appointment rescheduled. The next appointment is six months away. Not sure where all those free appointments will be available.

Meanwhile, new politicians are learning and constituents are grumbling and lobbyists are still working hard.

“I wish they had elected me!”

Careful, the nightstick of reality might grant you a wish you didn’t expect.

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