Y'all never heard of a trash can?

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For as long as we’ve been close, I’ve had this little game that I play with one of my environmentalist friends every year on my birthday. I share a birthday with Earth Day, and although Earth Day technically came first, I’ve always felt slighted that it was on my birthday. I’m not known by those close to me as a conservationist by any means. I don’t recycle. But I don’t trash the outside either. So, every year, on Earth Day, I send my friend, Bryan, a message detailing some Super Fund-level environmental catastrophe that I’ve caused. One year, I told him that I’d dumped 500 gallons of used cooking oil in Congaree National Park. The next, I told him I’d shredded 1,000 plastic grocery bags and had driven down Old Manning-Georgetown Road and tossed the pieces out of the window. This year, I told him that I had strewn medical waste from my dialysis throughout Santee State Park. You get the idea. I didn’t do any of these things, obviously, because my parents didn’t raise a neanderthal. I was raised to put things in their proper place, and the proper place for trash when you’re outside is in a trash can or garbage dump. Some of you obviously didn’t have this type of home training. I didn’t go to this year’s Super Saturday for the Striped Bass Festival, but I did walk the periphery of Friday night’s festivities in search of some type of festival food, since my dialysis pretty much lets me eat what I want at the moment. Only two hours after the event had started, I already saw pieces of trash flying around the downtown area. Some pieces were right next to the trash cans meant to hold them. People, y’all have to do better. Didn’t your momma raise you better than that? No, I’m not the neatest person in the galaxy. But I’ve never claimed to be. No matter how my car looks, I still don’t throw a cup on the ground when I’m finished with it. I didn’t throw cigarette packs out the window when I was finished when them (when I smoked). I don’t throw plastic bags on the ground when I’m finished with them. After I ate my festival food that first night of the Striped Bass Festival, I didn’t throw my napkins on the ground. I was, again, raised better than that. Thankfully, our guys working trash pickup and maintenance for the city of Manning are hardworking and had Manning once again looking spotless within a few hours of the festival’s conclusion that Saturday evening. But it was no thanks to some of you. Y’all were apparently raised by wolves. Every year, local authorities and officials ask folks to keep the downtown area clean. But despite their best efforts, these simple reminders go in some people’s ears and then straight out the other sides of their heads. So, I have a suggestion to make next year’s affair, or really any outside affair in Clarendon County much cleaner, but I need some help. I propose setting up somewhat-hidden cameras around trash cans and other places liable to collect refuse during next year’s festival. Such cameras would record footage of litterbugs, and said litterbugs would then be screen-shot and placed on ManningLive in a special litterbugs gallery. I guess if common sense won’t work, perhaps embarrassment will. The only thing I need help with is funding such a project, as I only have one video camera at the office. If folks were willing to donate their cameras for the duration of the event, I’m sure we could all work something out that would be agreeable for all parties, except, of course, the litterbugs who are going to be embarrassed. Or perhaps simply announcing such measures would be utilized could be enough to keep the litter at bay. Let’s give it a try and see. Robert J. Baker is staff writer and web editor for The Manning Times and manninglive.com. He enjoys tacos, hashbrowns and watching crime-related TV shows. His kidneys are freeloaders, and he hopes to get a new one soon. He can be reached at editorial@manninglive.com.